Jus doin mah ting

I like this one,  again the result of messing around trying to come up with something.  I’d been listening to a lot of Pat Metheny, but you’d never know!


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Alien Tea for Two

More me, until I get some video done it’s just audio.  Bass is not me, and I got a bit carried away with the wah pedal!


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Funky Doodle Dandy

All me, well, me and some machines.

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A normal day…or is it?

5:50am FB is up singing 🎶and pooping💩, pooping 💩and singing🎶. It goes quiet as FB squeezes one out. I do not want to be reincarnated as a nappy. Singing 🎶resumes and I doze off.

6:40am I wake up, FB is still happily singing. I walk onto the landing and the faint scent of excrement hits the nostrils. Lord knows what the dogs make of it! Breakfast?

FB happily announces the nappy contents…”I dunna pooh.”💩

“Yes, I know. You always do one in the morning,” I reply, wearily, not noticing what is on the stair behind me.

FB announces all the cats as we enter the kitchen and the dogs chase them. A normal day. 🐕🐈🙀

Off to the shower room, it’s off the kitchen, to put FB on the potty. There isn’t much point this morning as FB will have expelled the contents of the bowels already.

OMG! It’s shit city! 💩💩💩💩💩💩😷😷😷🙀🙀🙀Armeggedon has arrived and it’s massive.🚨🚨🚨🚒🚒 All lower garments I realise are brown on the inside instead of the original colour, and they no longer smell of the original summer breeze white linen flowery fabric conditioner Mrs FC uses in the wash (we are surrounded by farms so that must be strongly scented conditioner!)

Back to the nuclear nappy. It is everywhere, down FB’s leg, up the back, all over the bottom, and some of it has even dropped off onto the floor and the dogs are investigating. Thankfully, they don’t seem interested – no meat content I guess, we are veggie.🍓🍇🍆🥒🌽

No emotional reaction from FB, no apology, nothing. Tears as I show I am not happy, but that’s it. Into the shower 🚿 goes one mottled shit 💩coloured child, five minutes later FB is the original colour and smelling of soap. Unfortunately, I drop the shower, it is first thing in the morning and I am dealing with “buy one get one free” sized poop here. Gimme break.🏝

I am now soaked, too.😩😩

FB stands there wrapped in a massive towel looking as if butter wouldn’t melt, while I drip and work out what to do next. Oh, yes, clean the floor and the stairs, rescue the clothing. 🚑🚑🚑 I’m beginning to see the funny side now. 😀Thankfully, FB’s bed and room are unaffected.🌈

Finally, I can feed the animals and do breakfast.

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So, after a break from writing due to a heavy few days and a couple of migraines things have calmed down.  FB is becoming more confident, which is lovely on one level, and after some chats with a couple of long term students about working practices I am trying to change how I work! Clearly, I am not achieving what I want, so time for change!

I am so work focussed that it isn’t healthy; I’m losing why I do this in the first place, ok, apart from the money (such that it is!).  Music for me!  So, I spent a pleasant hour tuning the lute then ten minutes playing it! Lol.

Lute 'n' Uke

Lute ‘n’ Uke, an illicit affair!


I used to enjoy researching early music, studying music learning new things.  Now I don’t have time, unless it is work related.  I need some me time now summer is here.

To that end I am going to compartmentalise everything, or flit from one thing to another as one of my mature students does.  She finds it very effective.  She is self employed like me, but semi-retired.  She works on a project until she can’t concentrate on it any longer, then moves into a different room and starts something completely different, and so on!  Each room is a different project/idea. Ok, she lives on her own but the idea can be adapted to my madhouse!

Tomorrow is paperwork, recital pieces while FB is at nursery, then teaching.  Once the hols begin properly so will the compartmentalising! 🐿 I wonder if there is space in my office to have the mandolin out? There is certainly a lot of unnecessary crap 💩amongst the necessary crap💩! Perhaps a small shelving unit could house the recording desk and digital modelling box? Maybe some stuff could go in the loft? 🐿 Then I could make room for another guitar!….No, I did not say that.  Perhaps I could just leave space to put my shoes away (we have a shoe cupboard but there isn’t enough space for mine!) We have a coat cupboard, and yes, you’ve guessed it, there isn’t enough space for my jackets!

I have also decided to go as dairy free (vegan) as possible. In other words, vegan in the house, and possibly outside depending on the situation. We are already veggie. I’m also cutting down the alcohol again.  We went teatotal for most of last year, it was great! So, I may also make some major reductions there, too.

imageLute and Penny Poppers asleep in the case!

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Chinese whispers and conflict

We have heard a whisper that the prospective new parents have “issues” which may stop them becoming carers. Onto the adoption market for this one. I’m trying to think this is good but that’s a horrible turn of phrase.

Mind you, I will enjoy the p and q when FB goes. It’s very difficult to think, let alone work, when you have a 4yr old (going on 2 yr old) constantly in your ear repeating “what does a horse say? Mark marky, what does a horse say?” This particular horse may learn to speak quite bluntly quite soon!

When can I go back to work?

Mrs FC is struggling too. As much as I want to support her and FB is benefitting from being here, I would like to stop. Mrs FC needs to find another way to use her talents. She is also over tired and in pain with a foot condition making walking very difficult.

Phone call from our social worker and we have potentially opposite information! The potential carers are a teacher and a health carer and everything is looking promising.  That’s good then, back on track, maybe….

It is now late in the evening and we have watched one of the house build programs where a team of trades people rebuild the home of a needy family. I now feel even more conflicted with what I want to do with my life and helping others! Some people are sooo selfless!

FB is taking toilet issues to a new level and using them to wind up Mrs FC.  FB knows exactly what FB is doing and what is required but still insists on soiling underwear and nappies.  You can see it in the face.  We are at a loss for what to do about it.  My current feeling is to not care, to not try and FB will have to learn somehow, why fight about it?  However, Mrs FC wants to change it more directly.

Mrs FC has confirmed there will be no further fozzies (foster children) until after Christmas, assuming things work out for FB.

It has been another really hot day here, too hot to play classical music, so I have been trying some new jazz lines and feeling conflicted!

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Mind management and dreams

I was reading a book on Mind Management by the sports psychologist from the British cycling team last night and it said I should set out my dreams first, then break those down into goals. My dreams must be quite boring as I fell asleep pretty soon after that page!

That’s a tough one. At my age my dreams have changed or no longer exist as reality has made its mark (also, I can’t see the point of them any more). I used to dream of playing big stages and making albums. I’ve played big stages but not made a single album of my music, unless you include a live album.

I’d like to sing, others would prefer I didn’t!

I’d like to be a better teacher, a better guitarist, a better bassist, and ukulele player; a stronger person, someone who could make significant changes for the better for others; how about world peace and harmony?

I’m not interested in travel and I no longer want to gig for a living. My dreams and my view of them is that they are about the self, what the self wants. I am surrounded by people (and animals) who rely on me to some extent, there is little time/space/energy for dreams, as such my thoughts and feelings are in constant conflict between the self and others.

So, perhaps my self dreams are/were …

A) to sing

B) to record an album (of all my music on various instruments including my lute) – it would be really nice to put recordings and videos of me on my site/page. I’ve been saying I’d do it for years!

C) another teaching position at a school of my choice

D) recital plus recording of classical and acoustic pieces for guitar and ukulele

Therefore, the goals need to be manageable and achievable steps towards each dream.

A) singing….can I spare the time for lessons and practise?

B) discuss new recording with band (easiest option, will take organising but at least the music is ready); learn/write own material (more involved – source backing tracks for covers and/or write and record own material); record at home or in proper studio;

C) research schools in chosen area; what are their peri policies/contracts/requirements; can I meet those; do I want to meet those;

D) learn the pieces; give practise recitals; organise full public recital; lots of recording; take lessons/mentoring

🐿🐿Yay! Physical contact is cancelled for the foreseeable future! It never happened and was very disruptive and restricting for us.

Alternatively, I take note of my dreams and get on with them!

Good gig last, tired this morning and a bit stiff. Lovely walk with the dogs, new hayfever tabs working well. The sun is out, the sky is blue, the fields are cut and parched. It’s all good for the heart!

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