Voice and Peace

Little one FB uses everyone’s name except Mrs FC’s.  This had led to a very quiet time as we have all withdrawn from FB.  Mrs FC has tried various approaches, including lots of modelling, and it is clear this is a deliberate action from FB.

This morning FB has used “please” and “Marky” in the same sentence to ask for a drink. Could this be progress?

It has been very quiet, I’ve got lots done! My new amp has arrived and it’s amazing! For a cheap practice amp the sounds are brilliant! This will encourage lots more plugging in at home and, since it has a line out, it could even be a gigging amp! It’s the Roland Micro Cube GX. Mrs FC says its loud, but I could plug in my old sixties amp, that’s awesome and loud!  Funny what you get used to.  I don’t think these amps are loud. What I find loud are sudden and unpleasant noises, like drummers, until they are in the mix.

We did an unplugged gig over the weekend as part of the Bristol Harbour Festival.  What a different experience! I had to work more on keeping the rhythm and integrating it into my solos as we had no drums, but that was fun! More please!

Today is paperwork day and FB is very chatty. FB is also using “under” properly, that’s new.

Started discussing age with an ex-student in Nebraska, US.  You know, life, experience, achievements, happiness.  I don’t feel my age, but then I don’t know what my age is supposed to feel like.  I definitely feel childlike as I visit clients and see how serious many of them are.  Is this something that comes with age? I’m not wealthy, I do have worrying concerns about health and old age, but not to the point of depression or anything similar.  There are plenty of things to get down about but as long as I do what I can to change them, why worry? I could be dead tomorrow – I’ll order that guitar and pedal I’ve been considering, lol!

Mr Nebraska has hit the big five oh and says he feels settled and at peace.  He has a balance of good and difficult things in his life, but feels the good outweigh the difficult. He has his own business which is doing moderately well, he gets regular gigs playing pedal steel and has many friends.

When my mother-in-law was seriously ill with ALS/MND she always said “It’s still better than the other option.”

Whilst hobbling around with the dogs on their normal field walk (something went ping in my knee a few days ago), the heavens decided to open.  It was lovely, oddly enough. I still had at least 30 minutes hobbling to do but I didn’t care, it was actually nice.  Mind you, I did get very wet walking through sweetcorn crop 8 feet tall!

I’m running out of battery so I’d best go. Have peaceful days.

An hour later and FB is dressed and clean, sitting in the middle of the room and not asking for things to do.  We have had tears as I left FB in that room (I’m in the next one and can see FB). I have reminded FB to ask for anything required, but, nothing; not a sound. Tears have gone, and FB is sitting quietly.

My instinct is open the stair gate and enable free movement around the house but that negates what Mrs FC is trying to do; to get FB to ask and use her name.  I can see this continuing until FB goes in October, assuming all goes to plan, which we don’t know because nobody tells us anything.  Being PC I am disappointed in the whole foster process and Social Services support, being unPC I am pissed off enough with it to tell them where to stick it!

We have been encouraged not to teach this little one (by Social Services henceforth known as The SS), even though FB is hungry for it, but it’s not the “proper thing” to do.  We are dealing with a child hungry for input and we’re not supposed to do it, but at the same time we are supposed to be child led? What kind of bollocks is that!?  Do these people have any idea how to deal with these little people or are they just ticking boxes?  I’ll go with the latter.

i need to walk/hobble the dogs to calm down.  Grrrr.


About markwitney

Musician and teacher. Guitarist, bassist, ukulele-ist, lutenist and an ist!
This entry was posted in Depression, Fostering, Guitar, Happiness, Life, Peace, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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